[Brandy Baumrucker]

Great discussion! This is the first time I’ve heard of “The Pop” and glad we can explore this thought…

I would say my journey towards not being self conscious about my playing abilities and what people think just came about recently on my trip to Texas. I have tons of filmed shots of what a typical beginner throws like, and frankly….I think I shouldn’t hide it or feel bad….this is where I’m at as a player…a true Novice and trying to figure out the ways in which I can take what I know in my head and make it happen in my form.

Perhaps ego is part of it, perhaps insecurities and diminishing myself out of fear that others won’t like or accept me…is in a way ego? 🤔 I’m okay with accepting that fact. It’s true, my sore spot is rejection, we’ve all felt that, so I just recently began to embrace that rejection is sometimes not personal, often times it’s something to do with the other person, and unknow variables. That’s why communicating is important and honest between people, so no misunderstandings persists.

To answer you questions about challeneges, self doubt, financial troubles, family trauma, and self destructive behaviors….yes, the echos of the past due appear for me, yet learning the lesson and reconciliation is important to ensure that ghost of the past disapate as I move forward in life.

Everyone’s story is a unique combination of challenges that are their own, yet the circumstances and challenges humanity faces is common.

It reminds me that I’m the author of own story, this includes the past, present, and future. The past cannot control the present space of mind because the present moment is the most valuable…the state of just being…the present is where one can manifest things into reality. The purpose of the past is to teach, take note of potential dangers and positive rewards, and help guide without controlling one’s state of being fully.

The future is the equivalent of one’s focus in each present moment…moving towards a larger foundation of growth.

The ego cannot exist in the space where gratitude grows.